Chapter Three, in which I sleep over at Weirdo's house

One Thursday Weirdo asked me if I would sleep over at his house on Friday. I asked my mom and she said it was okay. I packed my bag and got off at Weirdo’s stop with him the next afternoon.

Weirdo had a sister a few years older than us. She was always writing names and drawing hearts on the covers of her notebooks. Right before bedtime, she pulled me aside when Weirdo was in the bathroom.

“I have to tell you something.” She put her face real close to mine. She had perfume on. I liked her. “I’m not saying this to freak you out, but Weirdo sleeps with his eyes open.”

She turned away quickly, unlocked her room and went in. Weirdo came out of the bathroom with brown stuff all over his face.

“What’s that junk on your face?”

“It’s my night time skin mask. My mom makes me wear it so I won’t get pimples on my face.”

It looked like somebody smeared chocolate frosting all over face and let it dry. It smelled kind of like chocolate too. For a second I imagined licking it to see what it tasted like, but I embarrassed myself and changed the subject in my mind.

* * * * *

We were ready for bed and laying out our sleeping bags on Weirdo’s floor. His mom came in to say goodnight and turn the light out. I laid on the floor looking up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling while Weirdo talked about different kinds of light bulbs.

He eventually stopped talking and everything was very quiet. Weirdo was already beginning to snore quietly. I rolled over and looked at him. There, a few feet away, was Weirdo’s brown face and his bright, wide open eyes.

This was creepy. His dark, crusty face and white eyes staring right at me, but he was asleep and snoring! He looked like some kind of monster, like a mummy waking from a thousand years of sleep. His eyes did not move or blink. Was he really asleep?

I whispered, “Weirdo, are you awake?”

“Of course I am! I’m staring right at you!”

He startled me.

“Oh, I thought maybe you were asleep because you were snoring.”

“I wasn’t snoring.”

“Never mind.”

I rolled over and tried to fall asleep. All I could think of was his creepy, dark face and wide, white eyes. I heard Weirdo snoring softly again. I waited a long time and slowly rolled over to look at him.

Dark face, eyes wide open! I stared for a long time. He didn’t move, but continued snoring.

He couldn’t really be asleep, could he? I leaned closer to see if he would say anything. I crawled quietly to where he lay. My face closed in on his, closer and closer, until our noses were almost touching.

Weirdo barked at me and said, “What are you doing?”

“You’re not asleep?”

“Of course not, I was staring right at you!”

“Oh, I thought you were sleeping, sorry.”

Weirdo rolled away from me and said, “Don’t be weird, just go to sleep. You’re keeping me awake.”

Me keeping him awake? He was creeping me out so badly I wasn’t even tired anymore. I waited a long time until I heard him snoring again. His back was turned to me so I couldn’t see his eyes.

I crept very quietly to him. He was snoring very loudly now. I poked him. Nothing.

I leaned over him so I could see his face. Eyes wide open! Snoring like wild! Finally asleep, no question about it. Not even my oldest brother could snore like Weirdo was.

Then I smelled it. The mask, it smelled so good. It must be made of chocolate. The thought entered my mind, but no, I didn’t dare.

Weirdo snored even louder. I poked him some more. He was out like a light, except for those big, white eyes.

I leaned in closely and smelled the mask again. Oh, it smelled so good, and my mouth began to water. I couldn’t help myself. Ever so gently, I licked the mask on Weirdo’s face.

I gagged.

“What are you doing?”

I fell onto Weirdo and said, “That tastes awful!”

He pushed me off and cried, “What does?”

“Your mask.”

“What? You tasted my mask?” He touched the dried junk on his face and felt where it was wet. “You licked my face? Are you sick or what?”

I had nothing to say. There was a nasty, rubbery taste in my mouth. Nothing at all like chocolate.

Weirdo sat up and scooted away like he was scared I might taste him again. “If you were trying to kiss me I’m going to puke, and I swear I’ll puke all over your sleeping bag, not mine.”

"No, I just wanted to see what that stuff on your face tasted like."

"Like rubber. You could've just asked me instead of licking me."

Weirdo shook his head shamefully at me and layed back down. Within minutes he was snoring.

I didn’t look over at Weirdo any more, and it took me a long, long time to fall asleep. In the morning I still felt like I had a rubber band in my mouth.