Chapter Six, in which Weirdo wears the red pajamas

Another Thursday afternoon on the school bus and Weirdo asked me to sleep over at his house on Friday. I told myself after the last sleep over that I wouldn’t be sleeping in the same room as him again in the future.

“It’s for my birthday. We’re having a little party and my mom said I could have somebody sleep over.”

Well that’s just great. Everybody knows you can’t say no to a birthday sleep over. I tried to get out of it anyway. I told him my mom told me not to make plans for Friday night because we were going to a fish fry with my Great Uncle Al. This worked for about ten minutes.

Weirdo got off at his stop and ran inside. By the time I got home my mom had just gotten off the phone with Weirdo.

“Your friend from down the street called and asked me if it was all right for you to sleep over at his house tomorrow night for his birthday.”

“What did you tell him?”

“I told him it was okay, of course.”

That little sneak.

I couldn’t stop thinking about that awful mask and his creepy eyes. I packed my bag for the sleepover that night. My mom let me borrow her eye mask that she wears when she has trouble sleeping. I told her Weirdo likes to sleep with a really bright night light. I tried it on before I packed it, I couldn’t see a thing through it. I wouldn’t be tempted to look at Weirdo sleeping while wearing this to bed .

* * * * *

Friday evening was a fun time. We played party games, like pin the tail on the kite. Weirdo’s sister said it was mean to pin a tail on a donkey.

When it was nearly bedtime we walked down the hall to Weirdo’s bedroom to get our pj’s on. Weirdo stopped in the bathroom first to wipe birthday cake off his forehead. When I turned one year old my parents let me eat a piece of cake with my hands and get it all over. Apparently Weirdo’s family does that for every birthday.

While Weirdo was in the bathroom Uncle Jake stopped me in the hall. He got down on one knee to talk to me.

“Kid, do you know where we’re from?”

“No.”

“Of course you don’t. We’re from a little village in Pennsylvania. Do you know what’s special about that village?”

I shook my head no.

“Of course you don’t, you’re just a dumb kid. That village is famous because it’s the only village where kids still eat their parents on the morning of their tenth birthday. Every child gets a pair of shiny red pajamas that birthday and they wear them to bed. Do you know why?”

“No.”

“Of course you don’t. It’s so that when the kid wakes up the next morning and they walk down the hall to the kitchen to eat their parents, and blood goes flying everywhere it won’t matter if it gets on the pajamas because they’re already red.”

Weirdo came out of the bathroom with his brown skin mask and said he was going to put his pajamas on. Uncle Jake and I watched him go into the bedroom and shut the door behind him.

“You remember what I said, kid.” Uncle Jake was walking slowly backward away from me. “How do you think I ended up living here? I ate my parents and had nowhere else to go.” Then he pointed at me with one finger, then at his eyes with two fingers, then at Weirdo’s room with one finger and said, “Don’t you take your eyes off him, unless you like the color of blood.”

The door to Weirdo’s room opened and Uncle Jake ran away. Weirdo stood in the hallway wearing shiny red pajamas.

“Look at the pajamas my Aunt in Pennsylvania sent me for my birthday.”

* * * * *

I didn't think much of the red pj's at first, I just went into Weirdo’s room to put on my pajamas. Upon opening my bag I realized that I gave so much attention to remembering my mom’s sleeping mask that I forgot to pack my pajamas.

“Just sleep in your panties,” Weirdo said as he tucked his self into bed. “I do it all the time.”

I was fine sleeping in my underwear, I do it all the time at home too. I slipped into my sleeping bag, and after Weirdo turned the light off I put the sleeping mask on.

I felt good laying there in the dark, not being able to see Weirdo and his creepy sleeping habits. I felt good for a while. Then the curiosity was just too much. I waited a long time before rolling over to peek.

When I was sure that he must be asleep I lifted one corner of the mask and looked across the dark room. There was Weirdo in his shiny red pajamas, that nasty junk on his face and his eyes wide open, staring right at me.

After what Uncle Jake told me, this was spooky. Weirdo and his family got weirder and stranger every time I came over to their house. And now this is what it has come down to. Weirdo eating his parents?

Of course not, I was silly to even think it. Besides, today was his birthday. If Uncle Jake was telling the truth Weirdo would have already eaten his parents, but they were fine. I rolled to my side so my back was turned to Weirdo.

“Why were you looking at me?”

“You’re not asleep?”

“Of course not, I was looking right at you!”

I did not want to go through this again so I just pulled my mask down tight and tried to fall asleep.

“I can’t wait for tomorrow,” Weirdo said suddenly in the dark room.

“Why?”

“Because tomorrow my parents are going to die…”

I sat up and snapped, “What?”

“Whoa, settle down and let me finish. I was saying that tomorrow my parents are going to buy me a new bike for my birthday.”

“Why didn’t they give it to you tonight. Today’s your birthday, right?”

“Actually tomorrow’s my birthday, but we celebrated it tonight because tomorrow we’re going to my cousin’s house to celebrate his birthday tomorrow night.”

“So you and your cousin have the same birthdays?”

“No, his is the day after on Sunday. But his church doesn’t let them celebrate birthdays on Sundays, so they just moved it up a day this year.”

Red pajamas. Aunt in Pennsylvania. He slipped and said his parents were going to die. Today is not his birthday. Things were adding up, and I did not fall asleep for a very long time.

* * * * *

I woke up in the morning because Weirdo was stepping over me on his way to the door. I had crazy dreams all night about red pajamas and people eating people. Weirdo began walking down the hall sleepily, and I could hear his family in the kitchen.

I called out for Weirdo quietly at first, “Weirdo! Stop, come back!” He didn’t hear me. He must have been in a birthday trance that would allow him to eat his parents without thinking it was wrong.

I jumped up out of my sleeping bag and ran after him. When he reached the kitchen table I caught up with him shouting, “No Weirdo, don’t do it!”

Suddenly everything was very quiet. Uncle Jake said, “What are you doing?” Weirdo’s sister said, “Yeah, what are you doing?” His mother said sweetly, “Honey, in this family we don’t come to the table shouting and wearing nothing but our panties.”

It was at that moment I remembered I had not worn pajamas to bed. My face was redder than Weirdo’s pj’s. I ran back down the hall and threw my clothes on as fast as I could.

I tried sneaking out the front door, but Weirdo’s mom saw me and asked, “Don’t you want some milk and cereal before you leave?”

I said, “No thank you,” politely and walked out the door. I could not bear to sit with his family after making a silly fool of myself. Besides, they have really old, green cereal bowls that I swear make the milk taste funny.